Last night my (hospice) baby died.

Sleeping newborn baby

The baby died last night. A member of the hospice staff texted me the news this morning.

The baby came to the hospice one day after spending a month in a pediatric hospital. “Shaken Baby Syndrome” I was told. The baby was blind and was diagnosed with neurological damage.

I would hold the baby and tell it it’s “life story”. How it grew old, married had several children; became a world renowned professor and held several patents that changed how the world works.  I spoke to the baby the truth I wanted for it, not that truth that it had; that it is dying because the people responsible for caring for it where barely able to care for themselves, that its situation is a result of generational abuses, poor mental health, bad choices.

I would sing Luther Vandross songs to the baby; well Luther was singing the songs – I was doing back up and accompaniment.   The baby liked James Brown songs that required a lot of movement on my part.  Once, while in the crook of my arm we were dancing to “I Feel Good”.  The baby actually started fussing when the song and all the movement stopped.

I did not know the conditions upon which this child came into the world, but I wanted the baby to feel love before it left this world.

The baby never had a chance. What is so sad it that there are many more who probably never felt love the short time they were on this earth.
– B.D.



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