20 Things I Wish More People Understood About Losing a Parent as a Kid by Toby Nwazor

Courtesy of HuffPost | 10.22.15 | Toby Nwazor
Image credit: bawwbot.net
Image credit: bawwbot.net

One in nine children in the U.S under the age of 20 experiences the death of a parent. Sadly, I’m among those that made up that statistics. I was 8 years old when my mom passed on.

18 long years have since gone past, but I still haven’t gotten over her death completely. And saying I should “just get over it” tells me that you don’t understand. Because there are so many things you may never understand unless you lost any of your parents as a child.

Here are 20 things I wish more people understood about those of us who lost a Parent as a Kid.

1. We tend to be hyper independent.
For most of us, the thought of being dependent or needing someone is scary. We find it very hard to ask people for favours too. We look for nurturing and we appreciate being cared for, but don’t expect us to ask for it.

2. We feel awkward each time Mother’s or Father’s day is celebrated.
Mother’s Days or Father’s Days are supposed to be days of joy. For us, it is usually a day for us to remember again what we wish never happened. It doesn’t mean that we walk around with sad faces, but don’t be surprised if you occasionally see us lost in thought. That could be us remembering our dead parent.

3. We tend to become very protective of our loved ones.
The experience of losing a loved one makes us to naturally become defensive and more protective of all our loved ones.

4. All we have are memories, please don’t spoil them.
We know every human being has a flaw including our dead parent, but please don’t rub it in our faces. Most times we imagine them to be saints who never had a weakness, especially if we were very close. Please don’t spoil that memory for us, it is all we got.

5. As kids, we worry a lot about our future.
When we lose a parent, we become afraid of what the future holds. Chief of all our worries is usually about whether we would still be adequately taken care of.  Continue Reading

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