Search

Dying & Death Talk

Looking at dying and death for what it is: a part of life.

Jokes Told by Death Row Inmates Right Before Execution

Courtesy of Ranker.com | By Edira Putri |  Posted 05.24.2018
Execution, arguably the ultimate “most horrifying” moment a person could face. It stands to reason you wouldn’t expect death row inmates to be cracking jokes in the moments before their deaths. It surely takes some kind of psychopathy, bravery, or gallows humor (literally, in this case) to tell jokes right before an injection or electrocution.  

Between 1976 and 2006, nearly 1,500 people were executed in the United States. Some used their last minutes to express heartfelt apologies to victims or families, some claimed innocence until the very end. A few greeted death with lighthearted quips. 

Probably, these jokes told by death row inmates were intended to be funny. But they might give you the chills. From puns to movie references, jokes inmates told before they were executed were in many cases unbelievable. 


George Appel

George Appel is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list Jokes Told by Death Row Inmates Right Before Execution
Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Public Domain

“Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel.” 

George Appel uttered the world’s most depressing (or hilarious, depending on your sense of humor) pun while strapped to the electric chair in New York City. He was given the death sentence for killing a police officer in 1928.

Carl Panzram is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list Jokes Told by Death Row Inmates Right Before Execution
Photo: Freebase/Public domain

“Yes, hurry it up, you Hoosier bastard! I could kill a dozen men while you’re screwing around!” 

Carl Panzram was a busy serial killer, rapist, and burglar. He claimed to have committed 22 murders and more than 1,000 rapes. Panzram was executed by hanging in Kansas on September 5, 1930.see more on Carl Panzram

James French is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list Jokes Told by Death Row Inmates Right Before Execution
Photo: Police Mugshot

“How’s this for a headline? ‘French Fries.’”

James D. French was the only prisoner executed in the United States in 1966. He was sentenced to life in prison for committing a first-degree murder, then upgraded to the electric chair after murdering his cellmate. see more on James French

John Eldon Smith

John Eldon Smith is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list Jokes Told by Death Row Inmates Right Before Execution
Photo: Macon Telegraph

“Well, the Lord is going to get another one.” 

John Smith, along with his wife, was sentenced to death for the murder of a couple, to claim their insurance money. Smith’s wife, Rebecca Akins Smith Machetti, was the male victim’s ex-wife. Smith was electrocuted in Georgia on December 15, 1983.

Jimmy Glass is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list Jokes Told by Death Row Inmates Right Before Execution
Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Public Domain

“Yeah, I think I’d rather be fishing.” 

There’s a lot of things you’d rather be doing than frying in an electric chair. For Jimmy Glass, the preferred activity was fishing. The 25-year-old man was executed in 1987 for shooting a couple to death during a burglary in 1982.see more on Jimmy Glass

Gary Burris

Gary Burris is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list Jokes Told by Death Row Inmates Right Before Execution
Photo: Indiana Department of Correction

“Beam me up.”  

In case you didn’t get it, Gary Burris’s last words referred to a popular catchphrase from Star Trek. Burris was executed by lethal injection on November 20, 1997, for shooting a taxi driver in Indianapolis.

Vincent Gutierrez

Vincent Gutierrez is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list Jokes Told by Death Row Inmates Right Before Execution
“Where’s my stunt double when you need one?” 

Gutierrez was only 18 when he carjack his 40-year-old victim and shot him twice. The crime occurred one morning in 1997, when Gutierrez and two friends intended to steal a red Mazda RX-7 for parts. The victim, an Air Force Captain named Jose Cobo, was shot attempting to escape. Gutierrez was executed ten years later by lethal injection.

 

Patrick Bryan Knight

Patrick Bryan Knight is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list Jokes Told by Death Row Inmates Right Before Execution
Photo: Texas Department of Criminal Justice

“Death has set me free. That’s the biggest joke. I deserve this. And the other joke is that I’m not Patrick Bryan Knight and y’all can’t stop this execution now.”  

Patrick Knight abducted Walter and Mary Ann Werner before killing them, in August 1991. When awaiting trial, he threatened to kill his cellmatewith a sharp tool made from a hanger. Knight was executed by lethal injection on 26 June, 2007, in Texas.

Christopher Scott Emmett

Christopher Scott Emmett is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list Jokes Told by Death Row Inmates Right Before Execution
Photo: Clark Prosecutor

“Tell my family and friends I love them. Tell the governor he just lost my vote.” 

Before Christopher Emmet was injected, he unsuccessfully argued that Virginia’s method of execution was unconstitutional. He was executed on July 24, 2008, for beating a co-worker to death with a lamp in 2001.

Jeffrey David Matthews

Jeffrey David Matthews is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list Jokes Told by Death Row Inmates Right Before Execution
Photo: Oklahoma Department of Corrections

“I think that the governor’s phone is broke. He hadn’t called yet.” 

Jeffrey Matthews was scheduled to be executed by lethal injection on June 17, 2010, for murdering his great uncle 17 years earlier. However, then-governor Brad Henry called and asked for the evidence to be re-examined. The same thing happened on Matthews’s next scheduled execution date, a month later.

In August, on the date of his third execution, Matthews received yet another stay, on account of problems with the drug used for lethal injection. His execution was rescheduled to January 2011. The governor didn’t call again.

The Mistake I Made with My Grieving Friend

Courtesy of Oprah.com | By Celeste Headlee | Posted 05.21.2018

A good friend of mine lost her dad some years back. I found her sitting alone on a bench outside our workplace, not moving, just staring at the horizon. She was absolutely distraught and I didn’t know what to say to her. It’s so easy to say the wrong thing to someone who is grieving and vulnerable. So, I started talking about how I grew up without a father. I told her that my dad had drowned in a submarine when I was only 9 months old and I’d always mourned his loss, even though I’d never known him. I just wanted her to realize that she wasn’t alone, that I’d been through something similar and could understand how she felt.

But after I related this story, my friend looked at me and snapped, “Okay, Celeste, you win. You never had a dad, and I at least got to spend 30 years with mine. You had it worse. I guess I shouldn’t be so upset that my dad just died.”

I was stunned and mortified. My immediate reaction was to plead my case. “No, no, no,” I said, “that’s not what I’m saying at all. I just meant that I know how you feel.” And she answered, “No, Celeste, you don’t. You have no idea how I feel.”

She walked away and I stood there helplessly, watching her go and feeling like a jerk. I had totally failed my friend. I had wanted to comfort her, and instead, I’d made her feel worse. At that point, I still felt she misunderstood me. I thought she was in a fragile state and had lashed out at me unfairly when I was only trying to help.  Continue reading “The Mistake I Made with My Grieving Friend”

MY EXPERIENCE WITH GRIEF

Courtesy of TheStyleScribe.com | By Merritt | Originally published 04.14.2018 | Posted 05.18.2018

I lost my dad when I was eighteen. I’m not going to lie, up until that point my life was pretty easy. I was loved by two amazing parents who wanted nothing but the best for me, and was always taken care of. I was well-fed and healthy, had a great education, got to travel often, and wanted for nothing. The only unhappy memories I have stem from my own idiotic behaviors in high school – I was a teenager. Sue me. But those were few and far between. But truly, I had a wonderful childhood and always felt supported, loved and cared for. I was quite sheltered and unexperienced, especially when it came to big life moments like the one I was about to get rocked by.

Before I tell you what happened, I want to tell you a little bit about my dad. He was larger than life, and there’s not a person I’ve met who knew him who disagrees. He lived every moment to the fullest – loved A LOT, worked hard, had unshakable faith, was always making new friends, and just truly gave everything he had to whatever was in front of him. To this day, people I’ve never even met come up to me and tell me how much they loved my dad – whether they worked with him in some capacity, met him at a random party or went to grade school with him, everything I’ve heard focuses on how wonderful he was or how he helped those people with something. When you spoke to him, he made you feel you were the only person in the room. Everyone was his best friend, and he was always trying to help others. I know this may sound biased coming from his daughter, but I swear, it is not. He was known as Big Red in our group of family friends, and everyone’s favorite phrase of his was “That’s what I’m talking about!”… and nobody said it like him.

It was during my freshman year at SMU. I had just pledged a sorority a few months before and was having the time of my life! I had awesome friends, was loving school and everything was great at home too. My dad had just celebrated his 50th birthday with all of our close family friends at a ranch he and my mom were renovating the weekend before Easter. He would have been 62 on April 10th this week. It was Good Friday, and I was driving down to Austin with a friend for the holiday weekend. I remember when I got the call so clearly, because I had just dropped her off at a friend’s apartment at UT and was driving the short distance to my old house on Windsor Road. It was my sister on the phone, and she called to tell me Dad was in an accident. My first instinct was to react with anger at her, because I assumed she was playing some kind of a mean joke – I’m pretty sure I cursed at her, but I rushed home none the less.

Continue reading “MY EXPERIENCE WITH GRIEF”

BLINK.

Courtesy of JaneDoe.ie | Posted

Blink is an artistic project aiming to recognise, honour and eventually memorialise women whose identities have been completely lost in the mist of other peoples memories.

May 10, 1950

May 10th, 1950

Case Report


Case InformationStatus: Unidentified
Case number: UD1950Morgan
Date found: May 10, 1950 16:00
Date created: March 20, 2012 12:41
Date last modified: April 04, 2012 13:46


Body conditionsBody Parts Inventory (Check all that apply)All parts recovered:
Head not recovered: –
Torso not recovered: –
One or more limbs not recovered: –
One or both hands not recovered: –

Recognizable face


Demographics

Estimated age: Adult Pre 50
Minimum age: 35 years
Maximum age: 50 years
Race: White
Ethnicity: –
Sex: Female
Weight(pounds): 130,Measured
Height (inches): 65, Measured

Probable year of death: 1950

Estimated postmortem interval: 2 Days


Circumstances

Location Found
GPS coordinates: –
Address 1: Old US Rt. 522
Address 2:42 feet Weat ofRt. 522 over embankment
City: Bath
State: West Virginia
Zip code: 25411
County:Morgan
Circumstances:Body was discovered by an individual while mushroom hunting along U.S. Route 522.


Physical

Hair color: Red/Auburn
Head hair:Curly, recent perm
Body hair: –
Facial hair: –
Left eye color: Unknown or Missing
Right eye color: Unknown or Missing
Eye description:


Distinctive features as described below

Amputations: –
Deformities: –
Scars and Marks: Y shaped scar on outside wrist approx. 3” long. W shaped scar in center of forehead. 2 surgical scars – one 10” hysterectomy scar and one 4” appendectomy scar.
Tattoos: –
Piercings:
Artificial body parts and aids: –
Finger and toe nails: –
Other distinctive physical characteristics:Freckles on back of hands and lower arms. Hands very small, shoe size 4 1/2 narrow.


Medical

Medical implants: –
Foreign objects: -.
Skeletal findings: –
Organ absent: –
Prior surgery: Hysterectomy, Appendectomy. Other medical information: –

Blood Type: –


Fingerprints

Status: Fingerprint information is available and entered Clothing and Accessories


Clothing and accessories are described below Clothing on body:

Continue reading “BLINK.”

Mourning a Dog Can Be Harder Than Mourning a Person

Courtest of Vice.com | By Frank T. McAndrew | Originally Publishd 04.10.2018 | Posted 05.14.2018

“Many studies show our relationships with dogs can be even more satisfying than our human relationships.”

Recently, my wife and I went through one of the more excruciating experiences of our lives—the euthanasia of our beloved dog, Murphy. I remember making eye contact with Murphy moments before she took her last breath—she flashed me a look that was an endearing blend of confusion and the reassurance that everyone was ok because we were both by her side.

When people who have never had a dog see their dog-owning friends mourn the loss of a pet, they probably think it’s all a bit of an overreaction; after all, it’s “just a dog.”

However, those who have loved a dog know the truth: Your own pet is never “just a dog.”

Many times, I’ve had friends guiltily confide to me that they grieved more over the loss of a dog than over the loss of friends or relatives. Research has confirmed that for most people, the loss of a dog is, in almost every way, comparable to the loss of a human loved one. Unfortunately, there’s little in our cultural playbook—no grief rituals, no obituary in the local newspaper, no religious service—to help us get through the loss of a pet, which can make us feel more than a bit embarrassed to show too much public grief over our dead dogs.

Continue reading “Mourning a Dog Can Be Harder Than Mourning a Person”

Dog in mourning: Helping our pets cope with loss

Courtesy of CesarsWay.com | Posted 05.11.2018

A heart-tugging image of a brown Labrador retriever named Hawkeye lying beside the American flag-draped casket of his human companion, Navy SEAL Jon Tumilson, went viral on the internet within hours. Pet lovers were moved by the symbol of loyalty shown by the dog who would not leave his best friend’s side. For many Americans, the image also served as a reminder of the lives that were lost on 9/11 and of those who are still serving in Afghanistan. For others, the depiction of a seemingly depressed and heart-broken dog represented the possibility that there’s more to our pets’ psychology than has ever been identified.

If dogs are capable of grieving, then how can we, as pet lovers, help them deal with their pain? How can we heal them after the loss a loved one?

Signs your dog is mourning
Just like with humans, no two dogs are alike and neither are their responses to death and loss. Some may show signs of physical sadness, while others may display symptoms of negative behavior, and some may not show any sign of emotional suffering at all.

A dog that experiences any kind of major change, such as the introduction of a new child or a move of residence, can show signs of depression, says Dr. Christopher Pachel, a Board Certified Veterinary Behaviorist. When an extremely, socially bonded dog loses a member of the family, whether it’s another dog in the household or a human companion, the physical signs of depression can show up at greater heights and lengths.

Mourning may lead to a loss in appetite, lowered water intake, sluggish response to humans and other pets, a loss of interest in play or physical activity, and even a mournful howl here and there. The symptoms can also increase gradually over weeks or months. If you’ve noticed these symptoms in your pet, it’s best to get the dog to a vet as soon as possible to rule out any potential physical illness.

Before your dog passes away
When one dog in a two-dog household is gravely ill, it may help for the healthier dog to be present during euthanasia, or at least for the animal to see the deceased dog’s body, says Dr. Pachel. Similarly with a dog like Hawkeye, who was able to lie near the casket of his deceased owner, if it’s a possible scenario, it just may help the dog to understand the process better.

How to help a dog in mourning Continue reading “Dog in mourning: Helping our pets cope with loss”

Your Top 10 Objects Your Kids Don’t Want

Courtesy of Forbes.com | By Elizabeth Stewart | Originally Published 03.04.2018 | Posted 05.09.2018

The following is excerpted from No Thanks Mom: The Top Ten Objects Your Kids Do NOT Want (and what to do with them).

Your house, and what it contains, is a minefield in the eyes of your grown children. They can see from your example that collections of stuff are a curse; such objects are superfluous to a life well lived. They want a clean, clear field in which to live their lives. Your grown children will not agree to be the recipients of your downsizing if it means their upsizing.

In the following list of the Top Ten Objects Your Kids Do Not Want — inspired by conversations (or lack thereof) about my keepsakes with my 30-year-old son, Lock, and his wife, as well as by similar conversations I’ve had with hundreds of boomer clients and their millennial heirs — I will help you find a remedy for dealing with each:

No. 10: Books

Unless your grown kids are professors, they don’t want your books. There are a couple common mistakes my clients make in valuing books:

The 17th-century books are likely to be theological or grammar-based, and are not rare. The 19th-century books are probably not in good condition, and since most came in a series or set, it’s unlikely you’ll have a full (valuable) set.

Remedy: If you think the book is relatively common plug the title, author, year of publication, and publisher into a search engine. A favorite book site of mine is Biblio.com. Once you have background information, call a book antiquarian.

No. 10: Books

Unless your grown kids are professors, they don’t want your books. There are a couple common mistakes my clients make in valuing books:

The 17th-century books are likely to be theological or grammar-based, and are not rare. The 19th-century books are probably not in good condition, and since most came in a series or set, it’s unlikely you’ll have a full (valuable) set.

Remedy: If you think the book is relatively common plug the title, author, year of publication, and publisher into a search engine. A favorite book site of mine is Biblio.com. Once you have background information, call a book antiquarian.

Continue reading “Your Top 10 Objects Your Kids Don’t Want”

When an Ex Dies: No Place for Your Grief

Courtesy of NextAvenue.org | By Cindy Eastman | Originally Published 12.28.2016 | Posted 05.06.2018

For years, they shared a life. But upon his death, she was an outsider.

Death makes a man’s wife a widow, but what of his ex-wife?

Bob, my ex-husband, died a week into the new year. He had battled health issues for years, but hadn’t been in the hospital. His death wasn’t expected. The father of my two children, Bob was once my best friend and husband. Then we got divorced and hated each other. For many years. What were we now? Nothing. Ex equals zero.

One January afternoon, a rare chest cold had the better of me and I curled up under the electric blanket and, uncharacteristically, fell fast asleep. About an hour later, I woke up and saw a list of missed calls on my phone.

There was one each from my kids Annie and Christopher, and one from Kelli, my ex-husband’s wife. The lineup wasn’t typical; I called Annie, my oldest, first. She answered with: “Bob died.”

Held at a Distance

Time stopped for a minute and a rush of sadness and history enveloped me as somewhere in the background, Annie was telling me what she knew. Of course I would go there, to Bob’s house, where he was found. My — our — kids were there. I started to tell Annie I was coming right over, but she stopped me and said not to come right away. Wait at her house, she asked, practically around the corner from Bob’s.


I’m not Bob’s wife, I wasn’t his friend. We didn’t speak for years, but I know his favorite number.


I left immediately with my husband Angelo. We arrived at Annie’s where her husband Tony and 4-year-old son Luca gave the illusion that everything was fine — Luca played happily near the still-standing Christmas tree and Tony tended a pot of pasta. But I couldn’t concentrate; thoughts of Bob, our kids, his wife, their kids, swarmed me … so I walked over to Bob and Kelli’s without waiting any longer for Annie’s call. Continue reading “When an Ex Dies: No Place for Your Grief”

What happens when a beloved pet dies: Grief can be deep, memories often sweet

Courtesy of KnoxNews.com | By Amy McRary |Originally Published 04.15.2018 | Posted 05.04.2018

Why does the UT Veterinary Medical Center offer a pet loss support group?
(Click below to find out)

https://www.knoxnews.com/videos/life/2018/04/11/why-does-ut-veterinary-medical-center-offer-pet-loss-support-group/503010002/

636589645639197778-mister-eyes
Photo by Erin Chapin

Jennifer Burke grieved six months after Hippie Chick died of heart failure.

Burke was home with Hippie Chick the morning the plump orange tabby died. They’d been best friends since she adopted this older cat seven years earlier. Nicknamed “H.C.,” the cat was the first pet Burke owned as an adult.

“She had such personality and sass. I wish I had had her all her life,” she said.

636590312238176724-new-hc-and-jennifer
Hippie’s March 2017 death wasn’t unexpected. The 18-year-old feline suffered from a rare arrhythmia that’s more common in dogs. That didn’t lessen Burke’s grief.

Hippie’s March 2017 death wasn’t unexpected. The 18-year-old feline suffered from a rare arrhythmia that’s more common in dogs. That didn’t lessen Burke’s grief. Continue reading “What happens when a beloved pet dies: Grief can be deep, memories often sweet”

A WordPress.com Website.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: